Today's Meme
Jan. 29th, 2009 01:42 pmGanked from one of my hockey sibs:
In response to this post, ask me about the first time I did something. It can be anything--the first time I used chopsticks, the first time someone I knew died, the first time I left the country, my first OTP, the first time someone of the opposite sex saw me naked. I'll answer in the thread. Then (if you like) put it on your journal and I'll ask you questions.
In response to this post, ask me about the first time I did something. It can be anything--the first time I used chopsticks, the first time someone I knew died, the first time I left the country, my first OTP, the first time someone of the opposite sex saw me naked. I'll answer in the thread. Then (if you like) put it on your journal and I'll ask you questions.
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Date: 2009-01-29 08:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 05:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 05:44 pm (UTC)I think most of the authors on my f-list have always written, most published authors say that too :) It's like a compulsion.
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Date: 2009-01-30 06:22 pm (UTC)I have to admit though that I do prefer writing in longhand. I vaguely remember reading *somewhere* that most artists draw/paint/sculpt because they enjoy the physicality of creating with their hands, so I imagine the same holds true for writers and musicians as well (it would also help explain why so many people in film seem to have similar hobbies as well.)
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Date: 2009-01-30 06:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 06:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 06:48 pm (UTC)No, I couldn't be bothered to make notes on screen. I was still writing in longhand until I started to create stories on Tolkien role-play sites. As you interact, you have to type straight onto the screen, but I was still writing stories in longhand until two or three years ago. They are just stuffed in folders in bags, there is no room for them XD
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Date: 2009-01-29 11:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 05:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 06:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 06:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 06:50 pm (UTC)Where did you stay when you were here?
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Date: 2009-01-30 08:00 pm (UTC)Sadly though, I didn't get to visit any Tolkien-related places. I don't remember exactly why now. My traveling days are over, so I rely heavily on the 'net for 'travel'.
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Date: 2009-01-31 11:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-01 03:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-02 08:01 pm (UTC)My experience wasn't great in England and that is putting it lightly. I lived in the North near Durham. And Durham is beautiful, but we moved around a lot and ended up in many grim towns because of my husband's job. People weren't very accepting of me, though I really wanted to get along. But Americans have a stigma attached to them and though I did have some nice friends, by and large I went through hell and back and became kind of a recluse because my confidence was knocked day after day. Some people were fascinated but most were rude.
England is beautiful, many beautiful villages and towns, I miss so many things, but it is easy to get carried away with the ambience of a place. And I tried to run from my family but they were still in my head, if that makes sense. But everyone is different, so maybe it would have been a good move for you but it could have easily been a very bad experience. And it is a very hard place to get immigration permission. We went through hell with that too. I'm just trying to say that it isn't where you live that makes you happy or whole. It's what you do with your time and how you live it.
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Date: 2009-02-02 08:53 pm (UTC)I don't know exactly what I would have done -- I know I would have traveled around as much as I could have, and just gambled on landing on my feet. I was far more assured and confident in those days. I actually believed in myself back then. Now I know better.
And yes, I know I have to deal with my own head first but living where I was never anything but frustrated and unhappy is almost as bad as staying in an abusive relationship. Why don't I leave if I'm so unhappy? No money to do so, period. With no job skills/experience/history to speak of, it makes even less sense. Here I can scrape by, and that has to be good enough.
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Date: 2009-02-02 11:13 pm (UTC)But that really was not worth it either because my interests were too far different from others -- being known as the "weird one" when everyone else is fitting in its very own special hell.
Same here. My parents were ignorant, racist, they conned people, lied and so on. I always read books and wrote and I had wanted to travel since I was 12. I was fascinated by other places. I listened to classical music, eventually became a musician and did well in school, while all my other brothers and sisters were either becoming pregnant or ending up in jail. So I was the odd one out. Though I was surrounded by a large family I was always lonely. No one understood me and they ridiculed me for being different. So I really do understand being the "different" one.
was far more assured and confident in those days. I actually believed in myself back then. Now I know better
I was the same way. I was determined to get out there and be different from my family. What I was trying to get across is that traveling didn't do that for me. And I wanted to reassure you in some way that maybe you hadn't missed out and I'm sorry if I upset you. It wasn't my intent. I tend to say things then stick my foot in my mouth ten seconds later.
I feel the same way most days. I feel I'm not good at anything, that I won't ever be anything other than my daughter's mother and no one will ever understand me. I have no friends, except here on LJ and that is thanks to Lethe, I have no family besides my husband's side and that is tentative. His mother is a horrible person. And I often attribute all of this to something wrong with me, because I don't believe in myself or anything I do. But people like us have to support each other, so I am learning. Because we do have things to give to others, even if it is just each other. And that is worth something.
I'm sorry. I had it in my head that when I left home everything would change. I just didn't want you to sell yourself short and think you did the wrong thing, that moving away would have solved all your problems. Because I thought that for a long time and yet I was never happy. I moved 7 times in one year and it never fixed anything.
Why don't I leave if I'm so unhappy? No money to do so, period. With no job skills/experience/history to speak of, it makes even less sense. Here I can scrape by, and that has to be good enough.
Leaving wouldn't necessarily make you happy. That was the only thing I was trying to say. I didn't have the job skills either. And I worked two fast food jobs when I had to leave university because my parents wouldn't help me, though they promised. I married my way out I am ashamed to say. But eventually I did fall in love with my husband and I scraped by for many years. So I do understand. I really do. I didn't mean to upset you in case I have. I just know where you are coming from and I wish you nothing but the best. I'm always here if you need to talk.
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Date: 2009-02-03 06:39 am (UTC)I know that moving wouldn't have solved things but it would have opened up more possibilities. I would have still had a lot of the same problems but it would have seemed less personal and I would have had a better chance to find other like-minded people.
Part of the reason I drifted away from scifi was because "women aren't supposed to like that sort of thing." Oh, you can get by with it until, say, your mid-twenties but after that you're just considered "strange" since only young teen boys (or metalheads) seem to have any interest in scifi. "Women" are supposed to like feminine things and if you don't fit in certain narrow parameters, you're watched for "potential deviant behavior". (And yes, I know how paranoid that sounds.)
If you don't mind talking, I will probably be bending your ear more later on. Take care!