Grande Galerie des Glaces

Ha - ah well - interesting. When did you write your first ' story ' ( rather than poem or essay )

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Oh. I was always 'writing' stories, even as a little kid. :) As for my first fic -- that probably would have been in '96/7. [I'd tinkered with ideas before then but they are probably long gone by now.] An XF story, iirc, but it disappeared on my old '98 hd. Though I am told the hd is still salvageable...

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It is sad when things get lost :( But if it can be salvaged, that's something. Most of mine is on paper, although it's so flimsy, really it's amazing how it lasts - and does not crash, lol. XD

I think most of the authors on my f-list have always written, most published authors say that too :) It's like a compulsion.

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I have a ton of ideas and notes on paper. My problem is that I am horribly slow (and bad!) at typing. So now I tend to write mostly on the computer.

I have to admit though that I do prefer writing in longhand. I vaguely remember reading *somewhere* that most artists draw/paint/sculpt because they enjoy the physicality of creating with their hands, so I imagine the same holds true for writers and musicians as well (it would also help explain why so many people in film seem to have similar hobbies as well.)

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I must agree that to me there was enormous pleasure in a new pen and a new big A4 lined pad. I now write on the pc as it's quicker, and longhand-to-screen would just take double the time, and kill my eyes and head, but it was a far more satisfying experience than typing.

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Oh yes! ::happy sigh:: There were many times I filled pages with half-sentences and scribbles, trying to regain an idea -- it usually worked too. Sadly, that doesn't translate as well using a keyboard but typing it onscreen is a wonderful timesaver.

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Sadly, that doesn't translate as well using a keyboard but typing it onscreen is a wonderful timesaver.

No, I couldn't be bothered to make notes on screen. I was still writing in longhand until I started to create stories on Tolkien role-play sites. As you interact, you have to type straight onto the screen, but I was still writing stories in longhand until two or three years ago. They are just stuffed in folders in bags, there is no room for them XD

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bkm5191.livejournal.com

first celebrity crush.

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Oooh, tough one! I would have to say James Dean because when I first saw 'Rebel', I fell in love. (And no, I am not *that* old; I only sound like it.)

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The first time you flew in airplane.

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That was a great time, and I was able to visit England. Loved it, totally loved it! If I'd had a lick of sense, I would have cashed in my ticket and stayed there. Instead, I came back here. [I know -- foolish, foolish human.]

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Awww, you should have stayed, I could have found you somewhere to live, I have oodles of super relations. :)
Where did you stay when you were here?

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Technically I was with a tour group but nearly everyone left and went off on their own at one point or another. As for myself, I was on my own mostly in the southern part; oddly enough, very near Canterbury.

Sadly though, I didn't get to visit any Tolkien-related places. I don't remember exactly why now. My traveling days are over, so I rely heavily on the 'net for 'travel'.

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I came from a hick town and I met my husband on the Internet. He is English. So I eventually moved over there and lived in England for 7 years. There were things I absolutely loved about it and there were things I hated. I mean that is how it is anywhere. But sometimes when you are just visiting the grass seems greener on the other side. I tend to think things happen for a reason. Just my two cents.

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True. But I know what my life has been *because* I tamely submitted to the family's demands of "staying home and helping out" and really, I think -- I *know* -- I would have been better off to have stayed away.

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My family did not want me to go either. But after 21 years of being in an abusive family I decided to cut the ties. And it is a tough situation, especially if they get mad at you, because when you make a move like that you need their support.

My experience wasn't great in England and that is putting it lightly. I lived in the North near Durham. And Durham is beautiful, but we moved around a lot and ended up in many grim towns because of my husband's job. People weren't very accepting of me, though I really wanted to get along. But Americans have a stigma attached to them and though I did have some nice friends, by and large I went through hell and back and became kind of a recluse because my confidence was knocked day after day. Some people were fascinated but most were rude.

England is beautiful, many beautiful villages and towns, I miss so many things, but it is easy to get carried away with the ambience of a place. And I tried to run from my family but they were still in my head, if that makes sense. But everyone is different, so maybe it would have been a good move for you but it could have easily been a very bad experience. And it is a very hard place to get immigration permission. We went through hell with that too. I'm just trying to say that it isn't where you live that makes you happy or whole. It's what you do with your time and how you live it.

Edited Date: 2009-02-02 08:03 pm (UTC)

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My family wasn't physically abusive but boy did they ever perfect the guilt trip. They also managed to block and anticipate every move I tried, so I stayed and did my best to make things work. But that really was not worth it either because my interests were too far different from others -- being known as the "weird one" when everyone else is fitting in its very own special hell.

I don't know exactly what I would have done -- I know I would have traveled around as much as I could have, and just gambled on landing on my feet. I was far more assured and confident in those days. I actually believed in myself back then. Now I know better.

And yes, I know I have to deal with my own head first but living where I was never anything but frustrated and unhappy is almost as bad as staying in an abusive relationship. Why don't I leave if I'm so unhappy? No money to do so, period. With no job skills/experience/history to speak of, it makes even less sense. Here I can scrape by, and that has to be good enough.

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Mine was the same. Nothing I did was ever right and then they had that sort of underhanded guilt thing. I didn't recognise it until I got away. But I sympathise so much.

But that really was not worth it either because my interests were too far different from others -- being known as the "weird one" when everyone else is fitting in its very own special hell.

Same here. My parents were ignorant, racist, they conned people, lied and so on. I always read books and wrote and I had wanted to travel since I was 12. I was fascinated by other places. I listened to classical music, eventually became a musician and did well in school, while all my other brothers and sisters were either becoming pregnant or ending up in jail. So I was the odd one out. Though I was surrounded by a large family I was always lonely. No one understood me and they ridiculed me for being different. So I really do understand being the "different" one.

was far more assured and confident in those days. I actually believed in myself back then. Now I know better

I was the same way. I was determined to get out there and be different from my family. What I was trying to get across is that traveling didn't do that for me. And I wanted to reassure you in some way that maybe you hadn't missed out and I'm sorry if I upset you. It wasn't my intent. I tend to say things then stick my foot in my mouth ten seconds later.

I feel the same way most days. I feel I'm not good at anything, that I won't ever be anything other than my daughter's mother and no one will ever understand me. I have no friends, except here on LJ and that is thanks to Lethe, I have no family besides my husband's side and that is tentative. His mother is a horrible person. And I often attribute all of this to something wrong with me, because I don't believe in myself or anything I do. But people like us have to support each other, so I am learning. Because we do have things to give to others, even if it is just each other. And that is worth something.

I'm sorry. I had it in my head that when I left home everything would change. I just didn't want you to sell yourself short and think you did the wrong thing, that moving away would have solved all your problems. Because I thought that for a long time and yet I was never happy. I moved 7 times in one year and it never fixed anything.

Why don't I leave if I'm so unhappy? No money to do so, period. With no job skills/experience/history to speak of, it makes even less sense. Here I can scrape by, and that has to be good enough.

Leaving wouldn't necessarily make you happy. That was the only thing I was trying to say. I didn't have the job skills either. And I worked two fast food jobs when I had to leave university because my parents wouldn't help me, though they promised. I married my way out I am ashamed to say. But eventually I did fall in love with my husband and I scraped by for many years. So I do understand. I really do. I didn't mean to upset you in case I have. I just know where you are coming from and I wish you nothing but the best. I'm always here if you need to talk.

Edited Date: 2009-02-02 11:16 pm (UTC)

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