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la_samtyrOk, so it's probably more nonsensical ramblings than musing and mostly about Heath but anyway... Read on if you want.
I've decided to keep writing. I actually have a fic in the works but since I write at the blazing speed of 30 wpm -- yeah. Plus this fic I have had to think myself into, and that is hard and exhausting to do at the best of times. It's impossible for me at the moment. But yes, the fic(s) will be finished and I will write more. The current copy is with my beta, mostly to be sure I don't lose the changes I made like I did with a slightly earlier version. Wanna know the really weird thing? When I sent it Monday, I had told her I had more or less found the ending that had been holding me up. Now that will have to wait because I don't know if I can write it that way or not. I don't know if that's the right ending anymore.
Ironically enough, I've been taking otc sleeping tabs off and on for the past week, week and a half, which is something I seldom do. But I haven't been able to sleep and I need to at least *try* to get some form of rest. My mind's been in overdrive with no way to shut it off, and I can't afford a dr. visit right now. Besides, there's all sorts of colds and flu out here, and everyone knows only sick people go to the dr., so by staying away I'm staying healthy right? [I know, flawed logic is my specialty.]
For some reason, I've been worried about Jake. I've mostly spoken to one of my hockey sibs about it even, since I'm hardly ever on IM anymore. I don't really know why because I see Jake as one of those athletic types who look "pampered" I guess but who are really as tough as tempered steel. Beneath that million-watt smile and those perfect manners, he's probably one damned tough bastard -- and I mean that in a *good* way. So it looks like I was worried about the wrong guy... :'(
Weirdest of all, one of my last bits of fb to another author makes me shudder whenever I think of it. Did I sense something then? I don't consider myself psychic by any means but it was... strange.
Back later on, I suppose. I'm still trying to come to terms with everything.
I've decided to keep writing. I actually have a fic in the works but since I write at the blazing speed of 30 wpm -- yeah. Plus this fic I have had to think myself into, and that is hard and exhausting to do at the best of times. It's impossible for me at the moment. But yes, the fic(s) will be finished and I will write more. The current copy is with my beta, mostly to be sure I don't lose the changes I made like I did with a slightly earlier version. Wanna know the really weird thing? When I sent it Monday, I had told her I had more or less found the ending that had been holding me up. Now that will have to wait because I don't know if I can write it that way or not. I don't know if that's the right ending anymore.
Ironically enough, I've been taking otc sleeping tabs off and on for the past week, week and a half, which is something I seldom do. But I haven't been able to sleep and I need to at least *try* to get some form of rest. My mind's been in overdrive with no way to shut it off, and I can't afford a dr. visit right now. Besides, there's all sorts of colds and flu out here, and everyone knows only sick people go to the dr., so by staying away I'm staying healthy right? [I know, flawed logic is my specialty.]
For some reason, I've been worried about Jake. I've mostly spoken to one of my hockey sibs about it even, since I'm hardly ever on IM anymore. I don't really know why because I see Jake as one of those athletic types who look "pampered" I guess but who are really as tough as tempered steel. Beneath that million-watt smile and those perfect manners, he's probably one damned tough bastard -- and I mean that in a *good* way. So it looks like I was worried about the wrong guy... :'(
Weirdest of all, one of my last bits of fb to another author makes me shudder whenever I think of it. Did I sense something then? I don't consider myself psychic by any means but it was... strange.
Back later on, I suppose. I'm still trying to come to terms with everything.
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Date: 2008-01-25 01:22 am (UTC)xxoo
Melissa
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Date: 2008-01-25 01:57 am (UTC)